Confiding in friends about mental illness

One of the worst parts of having mental illness is feeling absolutely alone. It doesn’t mean it’s true – the illness itself can shroud our views and make it seem impossible to tell anyone what’s going on. We can feel like the world is against us, or at least that no-one will be able to understand or will be sympathetic to what we are going through.

But just knowing there’s someone else who knows about it and you’re not alone can help, even if they’re unable to do anything else to assist you.

Unfortunately, fear of scaring off people can prevent us from sharing our struggles.

To make your words less daunting to your friend, tell them how they can help you. If there’s nothing they can do for you, tell them that bouncing thoughts off of them is helpful and you’d like them just to listen. Assure them they’re not expected to have answers for you if there are none.

When two people can talk freely to each other without expectations the relationship can be greatly strengthened.

Think about times when friends or loved ones have confided something deeply personal to you. Even if you’ve been unable to truly understand what’s been going on for them, it makes us feel special that they shared it with you. As social beings, fellow humans love to be able to share with each other on a deeper level.

Consider that sharing your mental illness, or even a small part of it, with people around you can help to bring you all closer. You’re not always the burden you think you are. If you go about it in the right way, you can use it to strengthen friendships rather than break them. It might surprise you who around you is willing to listen or can share that they too suffer some form of mental illness.

Truly, mental illness is far more common than we realise and sharing your struggle can help others around you wrestle with theirs. People might even come to appreciate you in a whole new light.

Of course, it’s still prudent to be selective with who you share something so personal with… I confide only in people who don’t gossip negatively about others all the time, but rather are focussed on themselves and how they can be achieving their goals or staying happy. They’re more likely to want to help you be happy too rather than create drama by spreading rumours or treating you differently. An added bonus is sometimes just being around this type of person can help you. Also I often find this type of person has dealt with something serious in the past which has led to their happy-go-lucky attitude towards life.

Who around you might be able to listen? Often more people than you think can handle the truth – if you help them help you. See if you can try taking a step toward being less lonely in this difficult journey of yours!